How to tell if spouse is gay
Since my essay, “My Husband Is Having an AffairWith a Man,” was published, I have received many, many comments. Although some of the comments were supportive, many of them were challenging, such as this one:
Sadly, most married, closeted gay men are manipulative, narcissistic con artists who only think about themselves with only occasional feelings of guilt and remorse. Their decision to leave or verb in their marriages is never out of consideration for the wife. [The comments—mostly from women—have been edited slightly]. Her comment made me angry and defensive.
I really am sorry for your pain. I understand that anything more I say risks suggesting that you’re not entitled to your pain. That is not my intent.
My father died in a farm accident when I was 3 years old, creating a cloud that cast a dark shadow over me for most of my early life. Three themes dominated my thoughts: 1. Being a man was dangerous. 2. If I survived, I would be the best father any kid ever had. 3. My father’s death fractured my sense of manliness. These things nourished my denial of my same-sex attractions
Is Your Husband Gay? 6 Signs That Could Be A Cause for Concern
Do you have suspicions that make you question — “Is my husband gay?” Maybe you hold a mild alarm bell that rings occasionally or noticed a few signs in his behavior that gave you reasons to agonize and question his sexual orientation.
If you have had any notion at all that this is a possibility, it might help you to know these 6 signs that may suggest that your husband is gay.
1. Lack of passion
When he’s in the moment with you, he’s mechanical and doesn’t seem to be passionate or interested in any acts of foreplay. Again, this could be caused by other things as well, but could be present if your husband is gay.
2. Lack of interest in sex
Issues concerning sexual craving alone are not a sure-fire subscribe your husband is gay, but women who report that their husbands turned out to be gay often tell this was something they noticed first.
If you notice that your husband struggles with getting interested in or engaging in sex in addition to some of the other signs discussed here,
How to Cope When Your Partner Affirms a New Sexual or Gender Identity
The revelation that your partner has a different sexual or gender identity from the one you've come to recognize and love — and the implications that will own for your relationship — can be a lot to deal with.
To the person learning the news, it might feel like the other person has been harboring a secret, and this may feel enjoy a betrayal, says Avigail Lev, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist at Bay Area CBT Center in San Francisco who works with both couples and individuals.
She says it can lead to the same feelings you might experience if a partner cheated on you or lost a lot of capital gambling, especially if the other person kept other relationships or feelings from you, she says.
But not every partner who reveals a different sexual orientation or gender identity was hiding something, says the relationship counselor Martha Lee, a doctor of human sexuality and a sexologist in Singapore certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
People can discove
Is My Husband Gay? Signs of a Gay Husband
Sometimes a woman may own been in a heterosexual relationship for years and yet feel something is somehow "off;" and she may locate herself asking, "Is my husband gay?" Many women detect this question unthinkable but according to Bonnie Kaye, , an expert in women married to gay men, it is estimated that 4 million women have been, or are, married to gay men. If a husband is gay, it can devastate not only the relationship but the straight wife as well.
Signs of a Gay Husband – Is My Man Gay?
The clearest way to understand if your husband is gay is if he tells you. If the husband is straightforward with both you and with himself (read: How Carry out I Know If I Am Gay? Signs You Are Gay), that is when you can truly know that he is gay. Unfortunately, it is estimated that 50% of gay husbands hide their homosexuality from their wives and don't contact this place of honesty on their own. In many cases, it is the wife, who after suspecting that something is improper , must confront the gay husband with the evidence, and only then can honestly be achieved.
But if you're wo